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JLA

Unearthed: Justice League of America #4

Welcome back to the website your mother never warned you about! Today we’re havin’ a gander (not a goose, c’mon, that’d be ridiculous) at the Justice League of America #4!

It’s true, we’ve ALL been waiting for this one if only to see a non-bearded Ollie Queen. Yuck. But we continue with the ads:

How has this EVER been a test of talent? It’s only a test of how well you can copy someone else’s work. And what do you expect the “professional” to say other than ‘Yes, you got talent, but we could really teach you how to…” What a scam.

Man, the length of time I must have taken the letterer to do that archaic serif writing… and for THIS?

Also, how is Snapper Carr’s name above Superman’s in the Roll Call?

A ‘snatch-beam’. That’s it, that’s the joke.

You know this Ming the Merciless knock-off is a bad guy ’cause he’s mocking blind people. Also, is it just me, or is this other guy’s forehead growing?

A repeating motif of these early JLA stories is how got-damned contrived they are. Look at how much EFFORT they expend to establish the rules of this set-up. None of these stories proceed from normal supervillain shenanigans at all. It’s all aliens and space stuff!

See? Just… all these arbitrary RULES. Not. Compelling.

Lookit adorable Diana! She’s so happy to be at the head of the table! Aw, you’d do anything for her, wouldn’t you? But it’s clear from the faces around the table that the Patriarchy is not having it.

Batman’s kinda laying it on a bit thick, inn’t ‘e? Of course, he’s being drawn thicker than we usually see him, so I guess it’s okay.

Honestly, we could use some of this THESE days. The portraits in panel four aren’t the best, but I appreciate the effort.

MURDER HORNETS.

EVERY. SINGLE. ISSUE.

Man, this issue’s heavy on the memes! First murder hornets and now cats!

Dude, that’s all you EVER have to do to solve anything!

That machine’s just happy to see you.

Look at these happy-go-lucky chums, havin’ a lark! Adorable.

Cripes, Arthur, way to become The Man.

Look, I’d be hard-pressed to find anything yellow in my daily life, and in the JLA, Green Lantern encounters them every issue. It’s really annoying.

Holy crap, GL, I never THOUGHT of trying THAT

Dude. Use your ring to pick up a fruggin’ HAMMER. Just a regular HAMMER would do it. HAMMERS AREN’T SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE COLOR YELLOW. Yes, GL, you’re worse than a regular hammer. Moving on.

CITATION NEEDED

That can’t be Green Arrow’s actual costume, can it?

“Tiny flames…”? The writer is trying SO HARD.

Why is this silhouetted? Is Carthan experiencing the dreaded Bat-blow? Is that why his aura didn’t protect him?

WHY DOES THE JLA KEEP SNAPPER AROUND? Was there an adventure we missed in which they were responsible for the brain injury that caused his uncontrollable snapping? Does he know some terrible secret about them and is just blackmailing them into letting him go on missions with them? I want Tom King to write about this.

And, as always, we finish with an ad:

This is how we get to The Wire.

Thanks for reading, True Believers! See you on Monday for our final installment of the Justice League of America (for now). And don’t forget our Patreon, if you’re so inclined! Patreon.com/comicsbreakdown!

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