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Wonder Woman

Unearthed: Wonder Woman #1, Part Three

Ready for more Diana? I can’t help you if you aren’t. It’s not my problem. You were raised poorly.

Steve-O shows just enough self-awareness to know he’s done wrong, but not enough to not have done it.

If you don’t play nicely, sir, no more dark hole for YOU! HURR HURR HURR… sorry, too soon?

So, to recap: Freddy here has made off with Diana’s magic lasso, which compels people to do what the holder wants.

And I’m telling you, this is how fetishes begin… on BOTH sides of the equation.

Normally, Diana LOVES to be arrested. I’m not even kidding. Future episodes will reveal this. Guess you better stick around to see ’em!

Mama shows us all the way! LET’S ALL BECOME INSUBORDINATE!

“Oh, uh… geez, really? We’d do anything for you, WW, but… fidelity? Aw man, do we gotta?”

In my mind, in addition to her expression, she’s doing a DUHHHH voice.

THE RETURN OF ETTA CANDY! Let’s see if you can guess Etta’s main character trait.

Her brother’s name is Mint Candy. Yes.

Diana, displaying the nonchalant “not my problem” that Peter Parker did when he let that gunman go by… and look what happened to him! Diana! You should know better!

Cripes, Moulton, do you not know ANY Black folks?

Oh, Etta, you complete me.

You know, she has a point.

Okay… okay. First, is Mint saying non-beautiful girls are okay to throw down a mine shaft? And second, is Diana jealous?

Putting you down a mine shaft: the ultimate negging technique.

Cripes, Mint, you JUST MET. I know you took a blow to the head, but please! KIDS are reading this! Get her to sign a pre-nup first!

You don’t get too many ‘hussey’s these days.

Hyp — hypnotizes? Why? Is this a canonical superpower of hers?

This being the 1940s, the anti-Japanese sentiment is explicable. But knowing Marston’s kink predilections, is he making this Japanese villain his mouthpiece in a weird way?

That’s a really weird comment, Diana. “Too lazy to jump”? You don’t think they just weren’t agile enough to do it?

And ANOTHER fetish is born.

You’re… going to sneak attack American ships? I don’t think “do a Pearl Harbor” means what you think it means, Diana.

Aphrodite gets her love energy any way she possibly can.

And that’s Wonder Woman #1! Wednesday we’ll be doing something a little different. We genuinely love comics; that’s what this site’s all about! So rather than mockery, we’ll be taking a look at some great comic stuff! Stay tuned!

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