Unearthed: Journey Into Mystery #83

We welcome Thor to Unearthed!

With this issue, Journey Into Mystery changes from a horror/science fiction anthology series into a full-blown superhero comic. Well, sorta. Thor here is a Norse god. Does that make him a Superhero? I’ll leave it to you to decide. On we go!

YOU’RE Thor? I’m tho thor I can barely THPEAK

So anyway, here’s a bunch of rockmen from Saturn. They’re smart enough to travel to another planet but not smart enough to understand how their own biology works. Pretty sure there’s no way oxygen could possibly catalyze superstrength. But hey, I don’t have any direct experience with rockmen. Agree to disagree.

… whereupon he was immediately shattered to pieces. What is this, Intergalactic Jackass?

Enter mild-mannered physician Don Blake, who overheard an old man ranting about aliens in the area, and based on nothing else, decided to investigate. His rationale was “He doesn’t APPEAR mad!”

Dude, he was yelling about ALIENS. That wasn’t enough for you?

Okay, he was RIGHT, but STILL

“Helpless without my cane”? Was the cane going to destroy the rockmen? No? Pretty sure you were helpless either way, man.

So we have a hidden room, concealed by a switch that opens when someone accidentally leans against it. Is this good security? And given what’s inside, was it MEANT to be found? And if so, why hide it at all?

Does ol’ Don here walk through the woods saying “LOOK at all the ancient CANES on the ground!”

Again, just THINK about the chain of events here: this stick is actually a magical device. Someone put it in this cave. Either it’s meant to be found, in which case, why hide it at ALL, or it’s meant to remain hidden. So why put it in a cave into which someone can easily (as we’ve just seen) stumble onto it? What’s the POINT?

I’m just gonna say it: Yes, you’re going mad. You’ve been narrating your every act and thought since you’ve entered this cave. You think SANE people do that?

“Why, I… I could finish that New York Times CROSSWORD at last!”

“Dude! I’m HUGE! And apparently, I haven’t skipped LEG DAY!”

This is nitpicking (haha, this entire WEBSITE is all about nitpicking, I’m aware), but is it weird to anyone else that the one time you’d expect this guy to read something aloud, he’s silent? Was it that important that we see the actual typeface and formatting of this sentence?

Also, why is it in quotation marks?

MAN, all these things I’d never considered before this issue. Okay. So… this stick is actually Mjolnir, the magical hammer of Thor, the Norse god. Leaving aside his assertion that Thor is “the mightiest warrior of all mythology” — ’cause, y’know, CITATION NEEDED — has Don Blake BECOME Thor, or is he trading PLACES with Thor? Are they two different people? Is Don Blake INSIDE Thor’s mind, guiding his actions, or is he looking out from Thor’s eyes, screaming to be set free?

I’ll always wonder at the design of Thor’s outfit. This is Jack Kirby’s work (yet again; he was all OVER Marvel’s early heroes), and he’s known for having a unique design sense. But is it at all based on actual Norse armor designs?

Sure, sure, I hear you: who cares? Hey, you can take THAT attitude OUTSIDE. Anyway, join us on Friday for the second part of Journey Into Mystery #83!