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The Hulk

Unearthed: The Incredible Hulk, Part Four

Aw, man, the title of this chapter gives it away! If we already know the Hulk is triumphant, why should we read the rest? Well, geez. *looks at watch* I’m still on the clock. So I guess we’ll just go ahead, then.

This has got to be one of the weirder Marvel villains. The Gargoyle, a misshapen Russian scientist who we never see again. Oh, sorry: SPOILERS

YOU GO GIRL

Let’s face it, Gargoyle: TV did half the work for you. It’s the opiate of the masses, y’know.

As you’ll see later, it’s not a mistake that the Gargoyle says “specimAn” instead of “specimEn”. He’s kinda “man” obsessed.

He’s got his own spaceship, even! It’s too bad he’s consumed with hatred and vengeance; he could’ve had quite the swinging lifestyle!

Ah, there’s a metaphor here somewhere.

THEY’RE DRESSED THE SAME, MAN

See? This is what I was talking about earlier. LOOK at that anguish! Almost feel bad for the guy.

And there it is: every time the Gargoyle says the word “man”, drink.

DRINK

DRINK

DRI — oh, sorry. He blowed himself up. But you just KNOW his final word was “MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN”

So before we finish this first issue of The Incredible Hulk, let’s look at some’a those amazing ads, shall we?

Holy cats, NOTHING would have made me cooler as a kid than a bike windshield. Not even SEX

Boys! Men! This crap’s for you! Girls! Women! Get back in the kitchen, apparently!

Are… are they saying electrical appliance repair will turn you into this moon-eyed freak?

SIGN ME UP

I swear he’ll kill us all

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