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Wonder Woman

Unearthed: Wonder Woman 1984, Part 4

Things’re starting to heat up!

Textbook example of what NOT to say to a woman. It serves as a reminder that in the 80s, this line would probably have been used in a movie successfully.

Diana’s been wandering around looking for Lord, presumably, being hit on at every angle. Then this guy walks up and I have to wonder what the criteria were for casting this part.

‘Cause essentially Steve Trevor’s spirit has been reincarnated in this dude’s body. So the actor could have looked like anyone, but he’s got kind of a Steve Trevor-esque vibe about him.

Diana dismisses him as just another creep, then he says “I wish we had more time”, which I guess is a line from the first movie? Honestly it’s been so long I have to just take it on faith.

And he gives her his watch, which presumably is another reference. But Diana’s stunned.

Then, the kicker: “I can save today but you can save the world.” And Diana knows it’s Steve. It’s interesting that he doesn’t even TRY to say “Hey, it’s me, Steve” first.

The camera circles them, and when it comes back to his face, we see Steve. I believe the movie’s saying that only Diana sees Steve, while the world sees the original guy’s face.

So… why? Why is Steve inhabiting this guy’s body? What’s happened to the original owner? Why not just have Steve appear as himself?

They go for a walk to catch up. I only put this screengrab in because look at Steve’s feet. I guarantee they had to re-film this scene a number of times ’cause he kept stepping on her dress.

Steve: “I woke up on a strange, strange pillow bed with slats.” Diana: “A futon, yeah.” Throughout the film he’ll make amusing references to the novelty of 1984 and all its wonders. Chris Pine sells it, though.

They get to this poor displaced guy’s apartment, and Steve makes a number of indefensible digs at him: “…an engineer. Lots of pictures of himself. Not what I would do, but…”

Dude, c’mon. Be grateful, why don’t you? As far as we know, this guy’s soul is in Hell or something.

Steve sees this dude’s face in the mirror. Really don’t understand the point of this whole thing. Unless we get to see into who else’s body this guy’s soul’s been put, it’s a meaningless bit.

Meanwhile, Lord is in his office with the Dreamstone. His desk is full of research about the Stone. But how did he hear about it in the first place? How long’s he been searching for it? Was he somehow responsible for it ending up in the jewelry shop from the first part of the film? See, in any normal movie, these questions would have been answered as early as possible.

Quote: “One great wish. I’ve been waiting.” See, he’s clearly repeating something he’s read, but we have to ASSUME that, instead of being SHOWN. It’s just sloppy.

And then: “I wish to be YOU, the Dreamstone ITSELF.” What? Why? The wording of this is suspicious, because it leads one to believe it’s purposeful. But without knowing anything about this Stone, we’re confused.

Why not just wish for the power to grant wishes? There has to be a reason, right? All it would’ve taken was a scene where he reads aloud some ancient text that outlines the rules for wishing. That’s all.

Even more: why didn’t he turn INTO the Dreamstone? He even SAYS IT ALOUD. Maybe the Stone is reading his underlying desires? But we’re not SHOWN that.

Next morning, Barbara wakes up in her apartment, happy that she presumably had sex with Lord the previous night. I guess. We don’t get any sense of how she feels about it. Would’ve been nice, considering that her whole thing up until this point has been: loser woman gets what she wished for. A scene about her realizing this would have been nice.

Anyway, she rips the refrigerator door off its hinges with superstrength. What the? She’s confused. She doesn’t realize that this is part of the “Be like Diana” wish she made.

Diana wakes up in bed with Steve, who’s been eating Pop-Tarts. Hey, I’m with you. He’s in love with 1984, I get it. Then she says “I should really figure out how a stone brought my boyfriend back in someone else’s body.”

Well honestly, Diana, you should’ve thought of this BEFORE you made a reckless wish without knowing the consequences. As someone familiar with magic, this is kind of a stupid move.

At her local gym, Barbara experiments with her newfound strength. Go 80s couture!

Meanwhile, Lord is in Simon Stagg’s office to apologize for his behavior. He says, taking Stagg’s hands, he only wished that Black Gold would have changed the world for everyone. Quote: “And I know you wished that too.”

Stagg replies: “Of course I wish that too.” And thus, the power of the Stone makes it a reality. Lord’s plan is falling into place.

Quote: “Then your wish is granted… and in return I’ll take all of your shares… and full control of Black Gold…”

“… after you are somehow magically removed from my path, forever.”

Lord knows something of how this wishing stuff works, apparently. Let’s unpack this in a second. Because immediately after this:

What we presume to be FBI agents storm into the building. “We have a warrant for Simon Stagg.” Lord is delighted. It’s working. But… hold on a second.

This implies that making a wish will have an immediate and negative consequence for the wisher. But it didn’t for Lord. Or Diana. Or Barbara. See, again, this is where the sloppy writing just pisses me off.

There were multiple occasions when we could have been shown that this is how the Dreamstone works. But we weren’t. The audience has to make a bunch of assumptions and that’s a stupid thing to do, as a writer.

Holy cats. Can it get better? I guess we’ll find out on Monday when we’re back here for Unearthed: Wonder Woman 1984, Part 5!

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